two days. almost four months apart. march 22 is the day that we did a 'hand off' with our birth parents in their hospital room. i don't know if you watched the episode of 16 and pregnant on mtv that i blogged about yesterday....if you did you know what i'm talking about.....if you didn't go to mtv's website, download it and watch it.
so.....two dates, four months apart and every single detail of that day is fresh in my memory like it was yesterday. i'll always remember what my birth mom was wearing, the cool belt my birth dad was wearing that we joked about with him in the hallway, and putting georgia in that car seat in the hospital room and walking away with her. sobbing. and they're not happy tears--at all. they're because you hurt for these amazing kids who in that moment are some of the best parents in the world because they have the infinite wisdom to know what is best for their child even though it is ripping out their heart.
watching this show brought it all back and i'm so glad. i don't have my 'hand off' on tape like these families do....i wish i did....it makes you appreciate what you have. chris and i watched this crying....almost as hard as we did on march 22nd. adoption is so hard and so great.
what is so incredibly amazing about the couple in this episode is that their parents didn't support them at all and didn't know how to love like their kids did. but....they did what they knew was best anyway.
chris and i are for open adoption. we weren't always.....probably not until we met our birth parents. georgia sees her birth parents and birth grandparents regularly. they come here, we go there. we love them. they love georgia. georgia will know who they are and how much all of us love her; her birth family and her adopted family--both immediate and extended. when i watched the kids in this episode putting together a scrap book for their daughter, writing her a letter, taking pictures with her--i was thrilled for this little girl. she'll always know how much her birth parents loved her....just like georgia. enough to give her a life that they couldn't provide her with because they were just kids too.
if you take one thing from this show i hope that it's how incredible birth parents are. i know that not everyone who completes an adoption has the same amazing circumstances that god has given to chris and i, and if we do it again it might look totally different too. but....no matter who birth parents are; where they come from, their family situation, their age, etc. they are incredible people. they should be celebrated and celebrated. they are selfless.
i don't really have a lot more words right now....i feel like i just came home from the hospital with georgia in this numb state and puffy eyes from crying and am rambling a little bit. i just wanted to write while the show was fresh in my mind.
thanks mtv. i think this might be one of the best things you've ever done.
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3 comments:
Thank you for sharing how impactful the show was for you. I am the adoption/pregnancy counselor from the show. Your mom is my bible study teacher and she and the class regularly pray for me and the girls I encounter in my "job" which I pray is really a ministry. Many people do not grasp the grief and loss that is associated on all sides of an adoption, but you obviously do. There is joy for all but it comes at different stages and most assuredly not at the hospital or "hand off." I was thrilled that the Christian agency that I work for would agree to partner with this very secular network for the possibility of reaching an audience that we never have entrance into. I continue to ask God to use this episode (so weird calling it that when the events are actually peoples lives) to have far reaching effects to the many teens that will view it.
I wish all adopt families were as open as you are to the relationship you build when you choose an open adoption, but sadly, they are not. They cheat themselves and the others in the triad.
May God continue you to bless you and your husband and sweet Georgia. I look forward to the updates that your mom shares.
thanks so much for sharing this maggie...we don't have mtv, so I have never watched this show...this episode was amazing...
I watched while I was editing here tonight, but stopped because it's kind of hard to work when your crying....or sobbing.
I believe your story, like this episode is honest and real, and these publishers you're writing too will see that...I will be praying for you as you continue this journey to share your story.
I don't think I've ever read anyone who had such good things to say about teenage birth parents and it's really nice and refreshing to read. I also think it's great how honest you are about their part in the life of your child. Some people gloss that over and give adoptive parents all the credit. It sounds like you really appreciate everyone's role in GiGi's life!
Also, I stopped watching MTV when I was 17 or so because it didn't seem like there way anything good on anymore. But this makes me like MTV a little bit more!
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