now i have no excuses....

the last thing that chris and i (and let's be honest...i) have to do is put together a "scrap-book" that potential birth moms will see....we wanted some current pictures that were just "us" to put throughout the book....so, i enlisted the help of one of the best photographers that i know--lisa ruff of elite photography here in grand rapids. i grew up with lisa....and what's really cool about her is that she introduced me to chris one snowy day in college after the two of us (lisa and i) got into a car accident. that's a good story if you're ever interested! anyway, she's become such an amazing photographer and i would recommend her to anyone that needs any photography done ever......you'll just be blown away--check her out at elitephotodesign.com. she took these amazing pictures of chris and i and put together this slide show. so now that i have all these incredible pictures to choose from i have no excuses regarding why my scrap book isn't finished. i've got one week of christmas break left--it's time to get on it! (make sure your volume is turned up on your computer too....lisa didn't know this....but the song she chose to put with the slide-show is the jason mraz song that i heard right after we decided to adopt and i thought to myself....wouldn't this be a cool song to put with pictures describing our adoption process...and ending with pictures of our baby? such a cool coincidence!)

we're still alive...

i know...i know...it's been a while since we've updated our blog...but rest assured we are still in the midst of bringing baby terryn home (i'd fill you in on potential names so we could be more personal than "baby terryn" but we're in a long and bloody battle over them....i'll bring chris to the good side eventually--we took a vote at thanksgiving and ellen and i are on the same page). we've been busy getting almost everything finished throughout the course of the last few weeks. we ended our adoption classes on november 18th; our 8th anniversary. i was happy to see them end. i think that they have been the hardest part of this process so far--while the goal of the classes was various aspects of adoption they tended to focus on the "worst case" scenarios and left me feeling a bit jaded about my role in an adoption. needless to say we had a lot of "talks" about the intent of the classes and whether or not they were projecting the emotions i was taking from them.

following our classes we scheduled our home-study. this was four different meetings; one with each of us alone, one at our house, and one with us together. i was imagining a white glove inspection, investigating what kinds of prescription drugs i had in the bathroom (you know i've got some good ones too), looking under beds, and measuring how big the babies room would be. however, it was so easy and so much fun to have our social worker over for dinner.

so with that finished last thursday night the rest of the process really lies with us. we need to create a "life" book. a picture book that details our life for potential birth-moms. this is what our adoption agency will show moms as they choose who they think would best fit their expectations for adoptive parents. this is honestly one of the things i've been most excited about and i love the idea of someone looking through this book, making some connection with it, and feeling like this could be a good fit. it's really very cool for me to think of a birth mom making that decision for her child. there are so many decisions she won't be able to make for her baby once it's born so i love the fact that she can make this life-altering one for her child. this process is just so incredible the more i think about it, and so deliberate.

but....i need to get started on this book. it's a daunting task for me.....i have so many things that i think are great about our life...things i want to share....but it could get so over-whelming so quickly for someone. i mean, really.....how many pictures should i include of my sister snorting in my ear (you know there are a ton of them ellen) or my dad pretending to be george foreman or chris kissing sparrow (he's man enough to admit to it....i think)? so, that's my big job over christmas break.

i told my social worker that as soon as she gets that book from me she'd know we were ready to have a baby. whether that means she calls and says a baby was born an hour ago, a baby will be born in a week....a month.....two months, there is a three month old, etc. that will be her signal.

to close this entry i just want to take a second to credit the agency we've chosen to work with...a lot of people ask because i haven't mentioned it specifically on the blog yet. we're working with catholic social services. there are a lot of reasons we chose them....probably the most honest, but certainly not the only one, answer would be their fees. they work very hard to make sure that the adoption costs are reasonable and that after tax credits for adoptions couples won't have paid a lot out of pocket. i think it's a huge testament to what they are doing....they are placing babies in homes to be raised....bottom line.....their costs reflect exactly what it costs them to file appropriate paper work, write reports, cover legal proceedings, and offer adequate counseling services for all involved in the process. not every agency can tout that claim....it's interesting to compare their costs to other agencies who charge twice as much and from what we've heard from others don't always offer as comprehensive of an educational program. i would recommend them to anyone considering adoption. i really can't say enough positive things about catholic social services at this point in the process. they've worked hard to make this open and honest and most importantly to me....something really intimate.....something that really feels special and life-changing. they aren't just checking boxes off on a sheet of procedures....they really have gotten to know us and pushed us to think about why we believe what we do about adoption, what we're looking for, what we see in our future, and so much more.

we hope everyone has such a merry christmas..........we're excited to celebrate with family. it could quite possibly be the last one without our new addition....which in a way could be kind of sad since my mom has always threatened to end christmas stockings once we had kids.......she'll reconsider.......right mom?

aunt ellen says...

that i've been neglecting my blog and i need to let people know what's been happening....she's tired of reading about pots and pans! we've started our adoption classes. this is a four week process that we have to complete that consists of a two hour class each tuesday night. one of the best things about these classes is meeting other couples on the same journey as us. they're all there for different reasons, with different goals, and very different family backgrounds but the conversations are encouraging and so eye-opening to this amazing thing that is adoption.

our social worker indicated that we'd also be starting our home study in the next week or so! all of our official application paper-work has cleared, letters of reference are all in, and they have started our profile that will be viewed by potential birth moms. the home study process consists of four visits all with a different purpose, sometimes with both of us and sometimes individually. this can take about a month and half. in the mean time we're working on our 'life book.' this is what our social worker will show to birth moms that she thinks will be a good match for us and it's kind of like an advertisement for our lives. so, stay tuned....you might just end up in there!

again, thanks for all the amazing support! it's so validating to hear from each and every one of you. not that we need the validation, but it's encouraging and supportive and reconfirms this very big decision, and lets us know how loved this little kiddo will be...........

a little like the pots and pans cupboard.....

so, i think that in every home in america (minus ms. stewart's) there is this one cupboard...often where the pots and pans are stored...that brings on tirades insane enough that if anyone was watching they'd for sure never speak to you again. just opening this cupboard and having a stray lid fall on your toe or carefully selecting the pan you want to use only to have the whole pile of them come crashing down at once is enough to make you change your mind about what to make for dinner. i know that the thought of digging out the crock pot often changes my mind, "i'll have cereal, thanks." on occasion i've watched chris shove the pans in with his foot and then quickly close the door, and he's never really smiling when he does this or saying anything that glorifying.

so, last night we discovered what will become our second "pots and pans cupboard." a stroller. i haven't really laughed that hard in a while. watching chris try to fold up various strollers, while taking out the car seat portion, and then trying to unfold them was like watching a lid roll out onto the floor--hilarious. i've always loved the words contrived and convoluted....strollers are a perfect match! could there be more, let's be honest, CRAP, attached to strollers? i know, i know--all you moms will tell me how great it is to have a cup holder big enough for your big gulp sized cup of coffee and a cavern large enough to hold a small adult in the bottom of the stroller but i'm really just looking for something simple to shuttle a baby in from a to b without having to take a xanax and work up a sweat trying to unfold the thing. a few pictures that don't really capture the hilarity of the evening.....as one of the salesmen said...."you really just need to find a stroller that you don't feel like breaking when you use it."

they still exist.....

who? doctor's who actually have more than five minutes to talk to you. last night (yes a friday night) we met with our family doctor, who will also be our pediatrician for a 5:20 p.m. appointment. at 6:30 p.m. he finally stopped giving us information about babies so we could make our dinner plans and told us he couldn't wait to meet our little one soon, in his words, "bring me the baby!" what an incredible man....if anyone is looking for a doctor please ask me for a referral. he was able to put so many fears to rest about the health of a baby when i'm not the one carrying it and what people should really worry about and what they shouldn't. it was so cool to be able to sit with him and have him be open and honest about what is a big deal and what isn't...i've been getting a little freaked out with some of the things i hear! chris has been telling me for a long time now how much he loves this guy and i can safely say now that he's been right! so, i can't wait to be that over-protective, crazy, first time mom who has a great doctor to brag about! we're off to look at cribs!

a little adoption humor....

so, as we wait to hear what everyone has to say about us now that we know our reference letters have gone out, just thought we'd share a little clip from our favorite couple and their adoption journey.....

timing....

today i was feeling discouraged (chris is always a lot more positive than i am).....no particular reason to feel discouraged really.....just little things.....little comments people would make that i, in my ultra-sensitivity interpreted as irritating, insensitive, presuming, unwarranted, etc. it was also friday in a middle school so that could be half the battle! i've been checking my on-line bank statement like an insane person to see if the adoption agency had cashed our check from our application and they hadn't, and they hadn't, and they still haven't. so....i of course jumped to, "something must be wrong, they cashed our first check right away; why not this one, it's probably lost in the mail, we're going to have to re-do the whole thing, chris will tell me 'i told you we should have made copies of the whole thing', on and on......i called our social worker-she wasn't in (that's strange to write....i have a social worker) so in my frustration i went to marshall's--a good remedy. and then, i came home to my poor husband who was sick on the couch and he told me....mandy called.....she said she got her letter today to fill out as one of our references....a letter she would never have gotten if our application hadn't been received. so.....timing....it's an amazing thing....and so is god....too bad my patience isn't.