we got the call. the one that right before i went to bed i said we'd never get.....she's on her way. it was my birth mom......laughing. she said she really couldn't talk so i should talk to her mom. her mom said she was feeling pretty good....the good stuff was really kicking in and they were ready to start pushing any minute now. they'll call when she's born.
i can't believe that i'm allowed to be in this place, in this moment right now. it's so amazing. and i'm honored by the all prayers that have been offered up all week for this little marvel (as my sister said tonight)....we'll have more news to come soon.......very soon.......
march 20th......to steal a line from my boss whose birthday is the 20th.....truly a magical day.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
a waiting game......
our due date is monday....the 16th. it seems crazy that five weeks have passed since we first got that long awaited call from our social worker telling us that there was a couple who wanted to meet us. i remember thinking at that time that there was no way we could be ready for a baby in five weeks. but......our friends, family,co-workers, vendors on my much adored etsy.com, and one really cheap painter have been truly amazing in showering us with gifts and being willing to rush jobs for us. this little girl is going to be so loved.
in looking back over the past five weeks i don't think i would have wanted much more time than we've had. the waiting is too hard and seems so long as we get closer and closer to the due date. this five weeks has been the longest wait we've had in this five year journey.
it's so strange to think of all the life we've lived in the last five weeks. we've met with our birth parents and their parents four different times, we've had two baby showers, we've put together a nursery, we've hung out with all of our family members, i've trained a long-term sub for my classroom at school, we've read a book together on getting your baby on a schedule, i cleaned out a drawer in our kitchen for bottles (not an easy feat.....i have a lot of dishes), we've argued over how to put the car seat in the car (i suspect that's not the last of the arguments over the car-seat......for all the good they'll do, they really do take you the brink of marital counseling and back), and so much more. it's been a whirlwind. but a good one. one that has really made us grow as a couple and helped us to see what is really important.
i've cried a lot tears over our birth parents. something that's really taken me by surprise but has felt so good. i worry so intensely for them because i dread their hurt knowing it is ultimately our joy. i know they are making the best decision, the most fair decision for this little girl, and i wouldn't have it any other way. but i understand the bitter sweetness that our social worker warned us about. i remember sitting in my adoption classes thinking that all the discussions we were having about that aspect of adoption wouldn't apply to me.....it was too touchy for me. now, i can't imagine someone not feeling this way. it weighs so heavy on our hearts.
i can't wait to bring our little girl home and have her be ours and call her our daughter. i can't wait to be up at night with her and be able to say the next day that my daughter kept me up. i can't wait to watch chris hold her and kiss her. i can't wait for my parents to have a grand-child and for chris's parents to have a grand-daughter. i can't wait until she gets older and i can do amazing projects with her like my mom did with me.....ones that involve a lot of glitter. i can't wait for chris to teach her how to stand in a river and catch a fish. i can't wait until she begs to spend the weekend with aunt ellen and then convince her that living with mom and dad is as cool as living in a loft in downtown chicago. i can't wait for all those things. but.....i have to get through this hospital experience first and it scares us so much. we need the right words and the strength. i know it will come--god gives us those things when we don't have them on our own. it's the unknown that is scary.
we are so excited to post a blog entry that lets you know that we're on the way to the hospital.....i'd love it to be tonight! i don't think we'll get that lucky though. so......in the mean-time here are a few pictures of our nursery and one fabulous little sweatshirt that my sister glitterized......one of many! "gigi" is ellen's nickname of choice for georgia. yes.....we finally decided.......georgia elyse will be this little miracles name! (thanks for your votes.)
in looking back over the past five weeks i don't think i would have wanted much more time than we've had. the waiting is too hard and seems so long as we get closer and closer to the due date. this five weeks has been the longest wait we've had in this five year journey.
it's so strange to think of all the life we've lived in the last five weeks. we've met with our birth parents and their parents four different times, we've had two baby showers, we've put together a nursery, we've hung out with all of our family members, i've trained a long-term sub for my classroom at school, we've read a book together on getting your baby on a schedule, i cleaned out a drawer in our kitchen for bottles (not an easy feat.....i have a lot of dishes), we've argued over how to put the car seat in the car (i suspect that's not the last of the arguments over the car-seat......for all the good they'll do, they really do take you the brink of marital counseling and back), and so much more. it's been a whirlwind. but a good one. one that has really made us grow as a couple and helped us to see what is really important.
i've cried a lot tears over our birth parents. something that's really taken me by surprise but has felt so good. i worry so intensely for them because i dread their hurt knowing it is ultimately our joy. i know they are making the best decision, the most fair decision for this little girl, and i wouldn't have it any other way. but i understand the bitter sweetness that our social worker warned us about. i remember sitting in my adoption classes thinking that all the discussions we were having about that aspect of adoption wouldn't apply to me.....it was too touchy for me. now, i can't imagine someone not feeling this way. it weighs so heavy on our hearts.
i can't wait to bring our little girl home and have her be ours and call her our daughter. i can't wait to be up at night with her and be able to say the next day that my daughter kept me up. i can't wait to watch chris hold her and kiss her. i can't wait for my parents to have a grand-child and for chris's parents to have a grand-daughter. i can't wait until she gets older and i can do amazing projects with her like my mom did with me.....ones that involve a lot of glitter. i can't wait for chris to teach her how to stand in a river and catch a fish. i can't wait until she begs to spend the weekend with aunt ellen and then convince her that living with mom and dad is as cool as living in a loft in downtown chicago. i can't wait for all those things. but.....i have to get through this hospital experience first and it scares us so much. we need the right words and the strength. i know it will come--god gives us those things when we don't have them on our own. it's the unknown that is scary.
we are so excited to post a blog entry that lets you know that we're on the way to the hospital.....i'd love it to be tonight! i don't think we'll get that lucky though. so......in the mean-time here are a few pictures of our nursery and one fabulous little sweatshirt that my sister glitterized......one of many! "gigi" is ellen's nickname of choice for georgia. yes.....we finally decided.......georgia elyse will be this little miracles name! (thanks for your votes.)
Saturday, February 21, 2009
our incredible birth parents....
had dinner with us last night. they really wanted to get together one time in between our initial meeting and the delivery. we were thrilled to get to spend more time with them. we talked about the hospital plan they'd decided on.....she'll call me when she's in labor and we'll get to head downtown right away. as soon as the baby's born we'll get to see her. it's so exciting and i can't believe we're actually at the point in this process that we can even be talking with someone about a 'hospital plan.' we also spent a lot of time just getting to know them....and it's so unbelievable to discover the similarities we have....like the fact that chris and the birth dad share the same birthday!!!!
i know i've said it before but we just feel so blessed to have been able to take this journey. a few things to pray about as we get closer and closer.......
we really, really love these birth parents. i love kids their age....i spend every day with them.....and it breaks my heart to know that they will be going through pain in a few short weeks. while i'm so desperate to bring this baby home it is crushing to know how much this will hurt on their end. all through our adoption classes our social workers told us that bringing an adopted baby home from the hospital is incredible....so wonderful....and at the same time your heart absolutely breaks for the birth parents. i never thought it would be this true...probably because i never expected to feel the way that i do about them. pray that god would give chris and i, the birth parents, and their parents the strength and wisdom we'll need in the coming weeks and months......and years.
i feel so inadequate as far as the words i have to say to the birth parents while we're in the hospital......pray for our conversations.
and of course.....chris and i ask for prayers for a healthy little girl who we can spoil for years to come.......we have a few pictures of her already.....
choosing life is incredible......absolutely incredible......and ultimately.....divine.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
february 11th.....
i told chris that last night, february 11th, i got to do the best thing i've ever done besides marrying him. it's a night that we will remember for the rest of our lives.....
we met our birth parents.
that line is full of so much meaning for us. it's one that really leaves me speechless (something that's hard to do for a gallerini girl). we received a call on monday night from our social worker indicating that a couple wanted to meet us. a couple who met all of the criteria that we could possibly want and that we'd expressed to our social worker but knew we'd probably have to give on a few of the items since they were pretty specific. but....god is amazing and that list wasn't too much for him and this couple just couldn't be any more perfect for us.
so......we went to meet them last night. terrifying. there is no other word to describe how the anticipation leading up to a meeting like that is......walking down the aisle-no problem, job interviews-enjoyable, gall bladder surgery-delightful, my first day of teaching ever-routine....but this was just un-real. we met with our social worker and theirs first and talked about how the conversation would go and what topics we really needed to get hammered out.......then their social worker left to go meet with them......that was an eternity of 20 minutes......
when she came to get us to bring us upstairs everything just clicked for me....it felt like this was what i was supposed to be doing, one of the things i was made for. i thought chris was going to puke right up until we walked into the room but the minute we walked through that door and saw them all of our nerves just dissolved. we knew it was "them."
we talked about a lot things for about an hour....and laughed and joked around. one of the qualities i love the most about my husband is how funny he is and how much he makes me laugh and how sarcastic he is.......our birth parents share the same qualities and it felt like we were talking to old friends. i just kept thinking that this couldn't be real....it was too good.
there is so much more that i'd love to write here.....but we feel very protective of them....and want nothing but incredible things for them.....and want to conserve their privacy.......but let me say again--they are amazing.....
we'll be seeing them again soon...getting to know them better. this adoption journey will never be over for us....but we've come to absolutely crave it and are so excited to see what else it has to offer. it has changed so many of our opinions about how adoptions work and what "normal" means and what "best for kids" means and how excited we are to build our family.
and.....that won't be far in the future.
because on march 16th....our little girl is due.
we met our birth parents.
that line is full of so much meaning for us. it's one that really leaves me speechless (something that's hard to do for a gallerini girl). we received a call on monday night from our social worker indicating that a couple wanted to meet us. a couple who met all of the criteria that we could possibly want and that we'd expressed to our social worker but knew we'd probably have to give on a few of the items since they were pretty specific. but....god is amazing and that list wasn't too much for him and this couple just couldn't be any more perfect for us.
so......we went to meet them last night. terrifying. there is no other word to describe how the anticipation leading up to a meeting like that is......walking down the aisle-no problem, job interviews-enjoyable, gall bladder surgery-delightful, my first day of teaching ever-routine....but this was just un-real. we met with our social worker and theirs first and talked about how the conversation would go and what topics we really needed to get hammered out.......then their social worker left to go meet with them......that was an eternity of 20 minutes......
when she came to get us to bring us upstairs everything just clicked for me....it felt like this was what i was supposed to be doing, one of the things i was made for. i thought chris was going to puke right up until we walked into the room but the minute we walked through that door and saw them all of our nerves just dissolved. we knew it was "them."
we talked about a lot things for about an hour....and laughed and joked around. one of the qualities i love the most about my husband is how funny he is and how much he makes me laugh and how sarcastic he is.......our birth parents share the same qualities and it felt like we were talking to old friends. i just kept thinking that this couldn't be real....it was too good.
there is so much more that i'd love to write here.....but we feel very protective of them....and want nothing but incredible things for them.....and want to conserve their privacy.......but let me say again--they are amazing.....
we'll be seeing them again soon...getting to know them better. this adoption journey will never be over for us....but we've come to absolutely crave it and are so excited to see what else it has to offer. it has changed so many of our opinions about how adoptions work and what "normal" means and what "best for kids" means and how excited we are to build our family.
and.....that won't be far in the future.
because on march 16th....our little girl is due.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
my nemesis....conquered
i am finished with my delightful scrap-book as of ten minutes ago....so these pictures are hot off the presses....now, i don't want anyone to get the wrong idea....i have a lot of respect for you ladies (and possibly some very confident men) who enjoy this hobby.
i get it...i mean what's not to love about cutting out countless pieces of paper to realize you are just one piece short of what you really needed so you get to run back to the scrapbook store for one 50 cent sheet of paper, or laying out an entire set of pages and finding one misspelled word that you already wrote in silver ink so you are forced to do the whole thing over again, and your cat constantly climbing up onto the table, counter, roof (wherever you think you can finally get away from him) and walking through paper glue and biting the corner of a picture, or sliding a finished page into the plastic sleeve and the plastic sleeve slides under all the pictures and rips them off the page, or having piles of paper, stickers, glue, scissors, etc. laying all over your kitchen table for weeks on end as you work on this glorious masterpiece.
all that to say...that i'm excited to be finished with this. i really am proud of it and it's so strange to think that this will go from our hands into the hands of someone who will be our birth mom. chris and i have talked a lot about the pictures we've chosen to put in this and would laugh about the context of the photographs and then wonder what someone else will think about them...if they'll notice something about "us" that we didn't notice or pick up on something that really speaks to them that we couldn't possibly have imagined and most importantly if they'll get a glimpse into who "we" are and if we seem to be a good fit for their child.
our home study report is still not officially filed...BUT...the reason that this book will be turned in tomorrow is that we received an e-mail from our social worker on monday requesting that i bring our book down if possible by tomorrow, the 26th, because there is a couple that she's very interested in showing our book to. they are due in march.
they are due in march. they are due in march. those are five crazy words that don't really have any finality for us....as of right now. but they could. and that has really gotten us thinking this week about how real what we are doing is. when we started this process at the end of september that's all it was....a process....and now we're being confronted with a possible end to that process. not that adoption is ever over....it's our reality forever....but those preliminary hoops, so to speak, could be coming to an end. we'll have to wait and see. the anticipation is so exciting and so very cool....we just can't wait to see how it all plays out!
we did go and register yesterday.....and just in case anyone was wondering babies r us has a special registry list for parents who are adopting....it's even labeled "domestic adoption registry list." and the strangest thing.....adopted babies need the same stuff that non-adopted babies need....who would have thought?
but i digress....below are a few snaps of our finished book.....
i get it...i mean what's not to love about cutting out countless pieces of paper to realize you are just one piece short of what you really needed so you get to run back to the scrapbook store for one 50 cent sheet of paper, or laying out an entire set of pages and finding one misspelled word that you already wrote in silver ink so you are forced to do the whole thing over again, and your cat constantly climbing up onto the table, counter, roof (wherever you think you can finally get away from him) and walking through paper glue and biting the corner of a picture, or sliding a finished page into the plastic sleeve and the plastic sleeve slides under all the pictures and rips them off the page, or having piles of paper, stickers, glue, scissors, etc. laying all over your kitchen table for weeks on end as you work on this glorious masterpiece.
all that to say...that i'm excited to be finished with this. i really am proud of it and it's so strange to think that this will go from our hands into the hands of someone who will be our birth mom. chris and i have talked a lot about the pictures we've chosen to put in this and would laugh about the context of the photographs and then wonder what someone else will think about them...if they'll notice something about "us" that we didn't notice or pick up on something that really speaks to them that we couldn't possibly have imagined and most importantly if they'll get a glimpse into who "we" are and if we seem to be a good fit for their child.
our home study report is still not officially filed...BUT...the reason that this book will be turned in tomorrow is that we received an e-mail from our social worker on monday requesting that i bring our book down if possible by tomorrow, the 26th, because there is a couple that she's very interested in showing our book to. they are due in march.
they are due in march. they are due in march. those are five crazy words that don't really have any finality for us....as of right now. but they could. and that has really gotten us thinking this week about how real what we are doing is. when we started this process at the end of september that's all it was....a process....and now we're being confronted with a possible end to that process. not that adoption is ever over....it's our reality forever....but those preliminary hoops, so to speak, could be coming to an end. we'll have to wait and see. the anticipation is so exciting and so very cool....we just can't wait to see how it all plays out!
we did go and register yesterday.....and just in case anyone was wondering babies r us has a special registry list for parents who are adopting....it's even labeled "domestic adoption registry list." and the strangest thing.....adopted babies need the same stuff that non-adopted babies need....who would have thought?
but i digress....below are a few snaps of our finished book.....
Saturday, January 17, 2009
funny thing about journeys...
it has been so encouraging for maggie and i to read your comments, to feel your love, and add even more members to our journey. we've just about worn out our mouse double clicking on the comments link below each entry. this child will not only be loved in our home, but given the outpouring of our friends and family, it's obvious that baby terryn will be loved by all of you as well.
thank you for loving our child and us...it hasn't gone unnoticed.
for those of you who call my beautiful wife a friend, co-worker, acquaintance, sister, daughter, pass her on the freeway....i implore you to speak honestly and truthfully when she proposes another round of "name that baby". please remind her this child will be on playgrounds, in school buses, classrooms, sports teams, and one day enter the work force...i think you understand where i'm going with this. speak up now, or you'll be forever culpable to the endless ridicule...who could live with that?
thank you for loving our child and us...it hasn't gone unnoticed.
for those of you who call my beautiful wife a friend, co-worker, acquaintance, sister, daughter, pass her on the freeway....i implore you to speak honestly and truthfully when she proposes another round of "name that baby". please remind her this child will be on playgrounds, in school buses, classrooms, sports teams, and one day enter the work force...i think you understand where i'm going with this. speak up now, or you'll be forever culpable to the endless ridicule...who could live with that?
i promise i'm working on this scrapbook.....
everyone asks, "sooooo, how are you coming on your scrapbook?" my response is, "sooooo, i've got about four pages done. but, that's better than nothing right? it's so hard for me. i've never really enjoyed this past-time. i'd much rather take the pictures and then put them in frames or blow them up really big and put them on a wall. my mom and my sister got the crafty (and i don't mean church gym craft sale crafty) side of the creative d.n.a. and i like to think that i got the good taste side (they both have that too--they have everything!)....humble, i know. so, i keep running into these crafting road blocks where i look at a page i'm working on and think it's missing something or it's too much or i can't think of a good caption for a picture or i can't think of what to do next or i take a facebook or etsy break and then lose the mojo. but, to prove to everyone that it is getting done i've included these pictures to show you that it's definitely a work in progress.
we're patiently awaiting our home-study to be finished. we haven't received the report in the mail yet. once we do and "sign-off" on it we'll be officially on the "list" and then i'll really feel the pressure to get this book in. but, we have nothing going on tonight....it's snowing like crazy, i'm making a pot of chili, chris is watching some really interesting cop/prison in-mate/how to remove fish hooks from your hands/how things are made/gang activity in antarctica/mating rituals of llama's, etc. television so i'm hoping to accomplish a lot.
and....not to make a promise i can't keep....but chris has told me that he's going to make a debut on this blog soon. stay tuned for witty writing from my funny husband.....maybe he'll let you know what he thinks about the names i've chosen.
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